Beauty is only skin deep
**Warning this is a frank sexual discussion which may offend those with delicate sensilibities. That should get you heathens salivating**

Lady Friend*: hey are you there (*name changed to protect the horny)
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Auto response from LittleMattAttack: bah
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Lady Friend: i have a very important question
LittleMattAttack: yes ma'am
Lady Friend: i just wanted to know if you knew anything about uncircumsized you know whats
Lady Friend: i found out this guy im into has one and im freaking out
LittleMattAttack: ha ha ha
Lady Friend: its throwing me for a loop
Lady Friend: i don't know what to do
LittleMattAttack: i know you have to wash them frequently
Lady Friend: hmmm ok
LittleMattAttack: and more thoroughly than a normal penis
Lady Friend: darn and i had jsut gotten so confident about blow jobs too
Lady Friend: now i don't know what to do
Lady Friend: do i pull the skin back of forward or just leave it alone
Lady Friend: this fucking sucks
LittleMattAttack: unfortunately, the only authority i know on this subject is out of the country
Lady Friend: maybe i should jsut forget about it
Lady Friend: who?
LittleMattAttack: adam dorris
LittleMattAttack: uh, i think i've got porn where the dude's not snipped
Lady Friend: really
Lady Friend: i must see this
LittleMattAttack: yeah, seems like i just saw some recently...lemme check my 'documents' in windows
LittleMattAttack: who's the lucky foreskinned fellow?
[name omitted to protect the object of horny]
Lady Friend: hes from south america
LittleMattAttack: accent?
Lady Friend: stupid south americans
Lady Friend: why don't they cut their penises
Lady Friend: nope
Lady Friend: he came here when he was little
LittleMattAttack: weak
Lady Friend: this really does put a damper on my feelings for this guy
LittleMattAttack: aw, it shouldn't
[searching...]
LittleMattAttack: so, wait...you would dislike this guy more because you're afraid sex would be weird?
Lady Friend: ummm
LittleMattAttack: it seems like all it would require is a simple question
Lady Friend: well first of all
LittleMattAttack: i bet the guy would be ok with explaing any differences
Lady Friend: im totally like guessing that we would even get that far
Lady Friend: we've only talked
Lady Friend: so yeah..........but if we did get to that point, i guess i could just ask him
LittleMattAttack: well, right, but always be optimistic
Lady Friend: but it would be very embarrassing
LittleMattAttack: no it wouldn't
LittleMattAttack: only if the guy's a total prick
LittleMattAttack: in which case...
Lady Friend: hes not
Lady Friend: hes the nicest guy ive ever met in my life
LittleMattAttack: then i don't understand why it'd cause problems
Lady Friend: its like what if you found out your next potential girlfriend had an extra layer of skin over her clit
LittleMattAttack: ha ha
Lady Friend: it would kinda throw you off guard wouldn't it
[talk gradually shifts to hair down there]
LittleMattAttack: i'm not sure how i'd respond to a shorn beaver
Lady Friend: no i was asking if she didn't shave at all
LittleMattAttack: ah
LittleMattAttack: yeah, that wouldn't be too cool either
Lady Friend: really?
Lady Friend: so a mid-way ponit
Lady Friend: point
Lady Friend: between not shaved and totally shaved
LittleMattAttack: i guess, i don't have enough experience to really say
LittleMattAttack: are some girls naturally not very hair down there?
Lady Friend: nope
Lady Friend: all girls are very hairy
LittleMattAttack: all in that area?
Lady Friend: yo've just seen a trimmed version probably
Lady Friend: yes
LittleMattAttack: hmm...
Lady Friend: man guys are dumb
[searching]
LittleMattAttack: hey, i got some good news of a sort for you
LittleMattAttack: i found a clip
Lady Friend: awesome what does it show
LittleMattAttack: but it's part of a full movie, which is 700 mb
LittleMattAttack: lemme look
Lady Friend: well don't give it to me now
Lady Friend: im at work
Lady Friend: it would have to be later
LittleMattAttack: ha ha, that's what i meant
LittleMattAttack: it's too big to send at all
LittleMattAttack: unless you want an entire french porn
Lady Friend: nah ill pass on the entirety
Lady Friend: i just want to see what happens when the skin covered guy gets hot and heavy
LittleMattAttack: well, it appears....
LittleMattAttack: hmm... it seems like they pull it back
Lady Friend: AHAH
LittleMattAttack: but when he's erect, it doesn't really make much difference
Lady Friend: pull it back huh
LittleMattAttack: like, the tip still sticks out
LittleMattAttack: yeah
Lady Friend: they pull it back for blow jobs or sex
LittleMattAttack: uh, blow jobs
Lady Friend: very interesting
LittleMattAttack: i think for sex it works as normal
Lady Friend: you have proven very useful matt
LittleMattAttack: like
LittleMattAttack: you know how circumsized guys still have loose skin on the stalk?
Lady Friend: yeah
LittleMattAttack: well, think of this as just a little bit of extra loose skin
Lady Friend: oh no
Lady Friend: not a "little bit"
Lady Friend: its ALOT
Lady Friend: ive seen it before
LittleMattAttack: it kind of pulls itself back on its own
LittleMattAttack: ha ha
Lady Friend: this is so scary
Lady Friend: why didn't his parents circumsize him
Lady Friend: what went wrong
Lady Friend: WHAT
LittleMattAttack: look, i'm telling you
LittleMattAttack: i had to look close to even realize the guy wasn't circumsized
LittleMattAttack: it won't be an issue
Lady Friend: really because it is pretty different
Lady Friend: like i saw a picture once and it was a WHOLE lot of skin up to the head
Lady Friend: almost covering the head
LittleMattAttack: was it erect?
Lady Friend: yeah i think so
Lady Friend: it was some online picture
LittleMattAttack: well, from what i've seen, it pulls back quite easily, stays out of the picture
LittleMattAttack: especially during blow jobs
Lady Friend: so you just like pull it down to the bottom
Lady Friend: the extra skin
Lady Friend: so you have to have one hand doing that at all times
Lady Friend: thats annoying
LittleMattAttack: yeah, well, that's how porn stars do it for some reason
LittleMattAttack: but if you didn't, i don't think it'd get in the way, either
Lady Friend: i don't think god likes me very much
Lady Friend: why did this have to happen
LittleMattAttack: whatever, you're blowing it out of proportion
LittleMattAttack: no pun intended
Lady Friend: i was so confident
Lady Friend: im still going to call him and aks him to study with me tonight
Lady Friend: and anyways, i also heard its big
LittleMattAttack: well, that's cooll
Lady Friend: haha yeah i guess
LittleMattAttack: what's to be afraid of?
Lady Friend: everything
Lady Friend: im not that experienced sexually
Lady Friend: and hes been with lots of sexually experienced girls
Lady Friend: thats how i even know about this
LittleMattAttack: man, if you're inexperienced, you're making me feel even more inept
LittleMattAttack: goddamnit, i should've slept with that girl mari, she could have taught me everything
Lady Friend: nah we're probably the same level of inexperiencessnessed
LittleMattAttack: not even close
Lady Friend: no we really are
LittleMattAttack: bullshit
Lady Friend: allright im going to go home now
Lady Friend: but i plan on dowloading lots of porn when ig et home
Lady Friend: thanks for the advice
Lady Friend: you've been most helpful
LittleMattAttack: any time
LittleMattAttack: see ya
Lady Friend signed off at 3:39:04 PM.

Nothing I like more than helping other fellas get laid. Speaking of porn, while searching for my Lady Friend, I noticed that one scene took place on a bed with sheets that were the exact same pattern as mine, only maroon instead of blue. Whoa, they bought those at Wal-Mart, I thought. The only thing weirder than that was when I found this clip from the '80s that had two chicks doing it on the exact couch my family had in the living room until I was 12.