This week on "The Real World: Red House"

So we managed to end up with all eight members of the house, from both up- and downstairs, hanging out on the front porch tonight. It was quite the sitcom. I've never been friends with my neighbors before; this is so much better than exchanging awkward hellos. And there were no odd feelings between me and the, ahem, cute one. We even took a walk to the hallowed Speedway Market, whence we journeyed on that fateful evening to buy the beer that spawned it all. We pretended like nothing had happened. Excellent. Just what I hoped for. Apparently, later, while I was at IHOP with Grady, she and her roomies came downstairs a little tipsy to read me a battle rap she'd written, which means things are back to normal.