And it was all for naught

From NYTF today:

We greatly appreciate the time and energy [and money -- ed.] you have devoted to the application process. NYCTF has completed a thorough review of your application. Unfortunately, you have not been accepted to the Fellowship.

To quote Seinfeld: "No, it was the world's first mutual break-up!"

Ah, but of course this stings the pride a bit...which is completely silly since I basically ad-libbed my sample lesson — a sure subconscious indication of my growing doubts about the program.

Regardless, I found the experience very rewarding. Realization: We often tell ourselves that this is where we want to go, or this is what we want to do, or this is who we want to be with, when in actuality we are just trying to fill the uncertainty that lies in the future. Not that these things or places are bad, but they're only good enough.

I write this down, although people have said it before. It's just one of those things you kinda need to experience for yourself.